So, here's how today went....and it isn't pretty.
First off, I needed dog food...well, I didn't need it, Winter did.
Dog food is in Franklin...I live in Dillsboro (30 minutes of serpentine roads and a sharp turn to the right away).
Also, I had decided to go look at a house in foreclosure (I do this occasionally) and asked my Mom and Dad to go with me....they live in Franklin...which was on the way to the foreclosure house in Scaly Mountain.
This all made sense at 7:00 this morning.
The last thing Annie said to me as I left this morning was that she hoped Winter didn't hurl on Mom.
Winter doesn't get car sick.
....so I laughed....
Ha!...like that.
Just as I reached the sharp right turn into the vet's clinic, Winter started that lunging, gagging, hacking thing that never ends well.
As I made the turn I grabbed the only plastic grocery bag in my car from the pocket of the door and stuck it over his head.
Needless to say, this startled him.
He shook his head free and spewed his breakfast all over the dashboard, the door, the windshield, the seat and himself. Pity it wasn't filmed.
It was epic.
The vet's office was kind enough to give me paper towels (I used them all) and Lysol.....I only had the one plastic bag....which had already been compromised...clean up was sketchy.
I bought the new food (which was difficult since it's costly and he could spew Beneful just as easily...but he is my only dog), put Winter in the back seat and headed up to Mom and Dad's.
As I turned up their road I heard that sound....gagging, hacking...
Yep....all over the back seat....but wait there's more..
...he slid through it as I made the turn.
I met my Mom at the door with my vomit covered dog.
She rushed to the rescue with the hose...which Winter is terrified of.
That didn't go well .
Mom went to get a basin of water we could dip him in which worked out much better.
All cleaned up, I started inside to put Winter on the porch so I could clean up the car when...OMG...gag me with a spoon..... I stepped on something....
something really squishy....
like jello in a bag....
it made a noise like a whistle and then there was a pop under my shoe.
It was a frog!
I don't know, how often does one step on a frog...and totally ruin it?
Mom came out with the bucket of pinesol and sponges for the car clean up as I was doing the I-just-stepped-on-something-freakout dance (which was somewhat hindered by the need to keep Winter from exploring the ruined frog) and looked at me like ....who's gene pool are you from?....
I got the back seat clean and touched up the front seat...and dashboard...rinsed out the sponge, cleaned the pinesol bucket (and my shoe) and went in to check on Winter...and Mom.
I realized I hadn't hugged my Mom properly since I arrived (we hug and pat backs...like burping babies...it's a Patton (!) thing).....only there was something in my hair and I went to swat it away and PUNCHED my Mom in the FACE.......
We decided a glass of wine on the porch would restore us.
Only there was a big schmooy pile of poopage right next to my chair!
(This is really much more horrific than it might seem as there is no trash pick up in the remote parts of NC.)
I put all the fomites (look it up) in a giant ziploc baggie and put it in the back of my car...until tomorrow...because the dump is closed on Wednesdays (?)
Totally purged, Winter settled in for a nap.
Mom decided to keep Winter (rather than sit in the back seat with him) and let Dad and me go look at the house.
We got a bit lost.
Dad suggested I get an air freshener for my car.
It was a great house...alas, not the house for me.
Which leaves us with the bats.
Annie fired the kiln last night and unloaded it while I was cleaning up vomit and murdering frogs.....I really want to go down to the studio and see how the new glaze/clay I've been trying turned out, but the bats (I lost count at 52) are streaming out of the roof and I just can't handle a bat in my hair...not tonight.
I'll look tomorrow.
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